I am no artist.

I once dreamed of nurturing my wayward fingers but father's refusal to send me to art school despite my acceptance (into UP Cebu's Fine Arts program) dashed the budding stick figure doodler in me.

I am no shutterfly.

I take photos the way I want to, not in the manner a common mind would yearn to be praised for. We all know how to capture life with photographs and it wouldn't kill me if no other soul would see it through my eyes.

I am no Photoshop genius.

I applaud those who are but I see no reason why I should sell my spare kidney to the devil just so Photoshop would love me in return.

I am no poet.

I chase and chain words together because I am selfish: I hope to continuously save me from myself.

So why the attempt on becoming a deviant?

TWO ulterior motives.

1.) Love

I am here for a few of the most extraordinary persons I have had the luck of coming across in this lifetime. Them who live in the intensity of their emotions that proses, snapshots, verses and sketches flow freely off their hearts, their eyes, their tongues, their fingers.

2.) Appreciation

I am here because it pains me to just admire the beauty they -- and other deviant-dwellers -- offer this world from a distance. There's this burning need to taste them, touch them, breathe them in.

That is the only way I can relish them myself.

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First-rate moron that I am, I decided to remove all of my journal entries and deviations two weeks ago. I call it the joiner fcuk-nic attack. You know, it's when you suddenly fling yourself unto a highly imaginative, artsy bloc in hopes that you'll pick some creative sense from them, only to find yourself being slowly eaten by doubt -- whether you really deserve to be walking in the same raised planes that they are in, or not.

Bu today I recalled why I was initially here for. Not for acceptance nor for bragging rights that I have enough balls to consider myself a deviant.

I am here for a few of the most extraordinary persons I have had the luck of coming across in this lifetime, and because it pains me to just admire the beauty they -- and other deviant-dwellers -- offer this world from a distance.

That, and not for anything else.